New York dating! It is probably just the same as dating anywhere else – but it is a hard task, either way. Do they meet your criteria? Are there any deal-breakers? And most of all, are they nutters?
A recent date was an eye opener to say the least. The paranoia that the government is responsible for everything. There were conspiracies left, right and center. The deal-breaker – did the government hire me to come spy on him? Yikes!
Harder than that in the rules of dating, at what point do we disclose that we have a disability? For some, a disability is obvious. But for others, people are blind to it and it needs to be pointed out. Do I just whip the leg off under the table and point it out in a shock, or do I discreetly approach it in subtle conversation? “Do you like my pretty toenails? Well, they are fake. And I don’t mean in they are acrylics”.
It is a conundrum on the when ….. straight up to eliminate wasting time on people who are scared of disability and don’t accept it, or subtly after a few flirtatious exchanges, or even then – do you wait for the first phone call to drop the bomb! You can wait until you meet, as by that stage you have won them over with your charming personality – and after the initial shock, they will be ok with it.
Each date is different, each person is different. Just as no disability is the same, there is no same way each time that you can spring the news! I find in this scenario there is no live and learn, there is no right way and there is no wrong way! It will be a surprise, it will be a shock and it may uncover your unconscious bias where you are not willing to accept it.
Either way, I look at it that it is your problem – not mine. If you accept it, you are worth having in my life. If you don’t accept it, then you are not worth having in my life. I am an amputee – but I am also a person. Love comes first – not legs!
In saying that, I think my next line might be – “Have you ever met an amputee before?” No. “Well, you have now”.