As they say, life without friends is a lonely life. This is more so true in New York City, I feel, than anywhere else in the world. It is an overwhelming city, full of people, hustle and bustle and a never ending choice of things to do. Granted, you can do these things on your own, but it is always better to be able to share them with someone. As I do find that in New York, you will more than likely have a story to share out of every outing.
So let’s go back to a time before Sex & the City (SATC) was a hit TV series. SATC first aired in 1998, so we need to turn our clocks back just a few more years earlier. The smart New Yorker’s knew way back then that being single in this city was hard work and it was not something you can easily do alone. We are talking about the young, the old, divorcees, widows and all of those in between. They knew there was an easier way, so this is how they did it.
In 1993, a group of singles got together to learn “How to be single in New York”. It started with a class at the “Y” on 92nd Street. You could say it was what we call today a ‘networking event’, and it ran over 6 weeks.
At the end of the 6 weeks, one of the participants sent around a piece of paper to sign for anyone who was interested in continuing to meet. No surprise, there were about 20 or so people keen and eager to continue their quest of learning how to be single in New York! This group would meet at someone’s house or office and plan social events that they could do together, and continue to create bonds and friendships.
On one occasion, the group decided to go Ten-Pin Bowling. A fun activity where you even saw Carrie and Big participate in a few years later. One member invited a friend as she thought it might be fun for her – as she too was ‘single in New York’. After a few strikes and a few conversations later, two lovely ladies who were in adjoining alleys started fooling around and having fun. From this adventurous and light-hearted fun, a strong and lasting friendship was formed – and they have become very close, fun and sincere friends ever since. Put simply – ‘Beshert’!
Carrie (SATC) also found out that holding a Learning Annex Class on Dating in New York City was a flop! (Frenemies – 2000) The only way to get them involved and obtain their goal of getting a date, was to take them out in the real world to meet guys at a bar!
Meeting new people in this city is easy. Over the past 3 weeks, I have collected 8 new business cards and connections of people that live and work in this city. You will meet people in the strangest of ways. On the Subway, in an elevator, in a bar or connect at events via people you already know. Most of the time, you will have a story to tell about the meeting and that is what makes life fun.
Having friends is how you will survive being single in New York. Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte figured this out years later, and shared this with us in the most fun and delightful way. Creating sincere and long-lasting friendships with people that you may never thought would work is what adds to this city. A city where anything goes, and an adventure is there if you are willing and able and waiting for it with wide and open arms.
In New York, you don’t need to ‘date’ to have a good time. And, you don’t have to be lonely – you can go out and make friends. In this fast paced city, sometimes you need to simply just let time float away from you at a park bench watching the world go by. More than likely, this in itself will turn into something you never thought possible!
So – how to be single in New York? Be open to new adventures, look for opportunities, and smile at everyone who comes across your path – you never know what might happen at the end of the day!