This little piggy never went to market …..

As a bilateral amputee, I can clearly remember how my real feet and toes looked. They were down-right ugly! Not only that, they smelled badly! Not of the usual sweaty sock smell, more of an ‘infection’ smell – constantly covered with Bettadine or other antiseptic creams.

Since I have had my legs amputated, I am constantly looking at other people’s feet. Sometimes to check out their shoes and other times to look at their toes. Let’s face it; most people’s toes are really not that attractive. You do find some that are quite hideous actually.

The ones I find the most fascinating are the ‘long toe’ toe (aka the second toe), and the ‘ring toe’ (he sits second last). Now for the long toe, it looks like he is just trying to outdo the ‘big toe’, and sometimes I think he is just too busy growing that he forgets he has a hang nail. That in a pretty sandal just doesn’t spark a desire of beauty. He’s the one that got to stay home – and we can really see why! He shouldn’t be allowed out in public at all.

Same goes for the ‘ring toe’. He was left out, and he got none. So there is competition there for sure. Quite often he ends up all bent and squashed, like he has tried way too hard to push little pinky out of the way to make sure he doesn’t get all the attention. After all, pinky was the one that went ‘wee wee wee all the way home’.

The middle toe – there is nothing to really say about that one. He may have got roast beef, but who really cares?

Oh and Mr Big toe, well he can sometimes decide to point in any direction that takes his fancy. Maybe he just gets angry at the long toe, he feels it is his right to go to the market – and really all the rest don’t deserve anything else at all.

So here’s the thing with fake feet, none of them ever got to go to market, there was no roast beef, and as for going all the way home well wee wee wee just know that never happened.

The other thing is that they don’t smell and they seriously are picture perfect. After having to look at ugly feet for so many years, I am proud to say I love my feet. I dress them up as much as I can with pretty shoes and nail polish. And as much as they may be manufactured and faultless, I bet if you sat mine next to yours – I know whose would be prettiest!