Adversity is something that I have had a lot of in my life – illness, cancer, amputations, losing people that I care about. We all have that in life in many different ways – that is just part of what life is about.
It is how we deal with it that keeps us going. Resilience. Do you build resilience up as you go in life? Does it depend on what your supports are and how they are managed that helps you get better at each challenge in life? Some people have one thing after another, after another, and just can’t get back up. It is too much. Others however seem to bounce back quickly and thrive as they survive. Maybe because I have had so many obstacles in life that I have learned to jump higher each time to get over them.
My dear father is a ‘quiet’ man. But when it counts, he knows how to get to the practical bits in life. Through the hard times, there has always been action and lists. Pros and Cons.
For the past 8 years, I have had a rule when it comes to adversity and resilience. It’s the 24 hour rule.
For some, I know it is not always possible. But for me, I only allow myself to be upset about something for no more than 24 hours. There are things in life you have control over, and things you don’t. Resilience has allowed me to assess my life situations, and make the decision to only feel ‘down’ or upset for things that I do have control over for a maximum of 24 hours. I’m not saying that is easy, far from it. It has taken many years of practice to get it right.
For the things you can control, do your lists! Brainstorm what the pros and cons are, assess potential solutions and put a plan together to make the change. Hey, I still have that 24 hours to slouch on the couch if I want to before I have the energy to do my lists, and sometimes you just need that. It’s ok to allow yourself to be human! But it is always up to you to take the first steps to change things. We know in life that nothing is certain and you may need to have a plan A, a plan B and even sometimes a plan C. That is just the way life is.
However – give the 24 hour rule a go! Learn and live resilience!